A young couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
"Didn't you know that you are not suppose to be having sex in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed at being caught said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behaviour. After getting dressed the girlfriend asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, "Doing 69 in a 35 mph speed zone!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Condom Sizing
Harry noticed he was running low on rubbers, so he stopped by the local drugstore.
"What size?" asked the blonde pharmacist's assistant sweetly.
When he admitted he wasn't sure of his size. The blonde led him into the back room, lifted her skirt and told him to enter her. He was delighted to oblige. "Size six," she told him after a moment. "Now, take it out. How many?"
Harry bought a dozen, and on his way home, he ran into his friend Tom. Harry eagerly told Tom the whole story.
Tom rushed down to the drugstore to place on order, "But I'm afraid I don't know my size," he told the sales girl.
So the blonde led him in to the back room and repeated the procedure. "Size seven, Sir. Now take it out please. How many?"
But Tom kept on going until he was done. "None, thanks," he told her, zipping up his pants and grinning. "I just came in for a fitting."
......................................................................................................................................................................
A man went into a drug store and asked the cashier for some rubbers.
The cashier asked, "What size?"
The man replied, "Size? I didn`t know they came in sizes."
"Yes, they do," she said. "What size do you want?"
"Well, gee, I don`t know." the man answered.
The lady was used to this, so she told him to go to the backyard and measure himself by sticking his penis into each of the three holes in the fence. While the man is back there, the lady sneaks around to the other side of the fence and spread her legs behind each hole as the man tested it.
When the they returned, the cashier asked, "What will it be? Small, medium, or large?"
The man replied, "To heck with the rubbers! Give me a hundred feet of that fence back there!"
"What size?" asked the blonde pharmacist's assistant sweetly.
When he admitted he wasn't sure of his size. The blonde led him into the back room, lifted her skirt and told him to enter her. He was delighted to oblige. "Size six," she told him after a moment. "Now, take it out. How many?"
Harry bought a dozen, and on his way home, he ran into his friend Tom. Harry eagerly told Tom the whole story.
Tom rushed down to the drugstore to place on order, "But I'm afraid I don't know my size," he told the sales girl.
So the blonde led him in to the back room and repeated the procedure. "Size seven, Sir. Now take it out please. How many?"
But Tom kept on going until he was done. "None, thanks," he told her, zipping up his pants and grinning. "I just came in for a fitting."
......................................................................................................................................................................
A man went into a drug store and asked the cashier for some rubbers.
The cashier asked, "What size?"
The man replied, "Size? I didn`t know they came in sizes."
"Yes, they do," she said. "What size do you want?"
"Well, gee, I don`t know." the man answered.
The lady was used to this, so she told him to go to the backyard and measure himself by sticking his penis into each of the three holes in the fence. While the man is back there, the lady sneaks around to the other side of the fence and spread her legs behind each hole as the man tested it.
When the they returned, the cashier asked, "What will it be? Small, medium, or large?"
The man replied, "To heck with the rubbers! Give me a hundred feet of that fence back there!"
INTELLIGENCE CHINESE SEX
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.
When finished, the Chinese runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into the bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance.
The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter.
When finished, the Chinese jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into the bed with the hooker and starts again.
The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times.
During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself. So when they were done she jumps up, goes to the window, and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed,...and......finds four Chinese men....under the bed..............fuck......fuck free
When finished, the Chinese runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into the bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance.
The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter.
When finished, the Chinese jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into the bed with the hooker and starts again.
The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times.
During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself. So when they were done she jumps up, goes to the window, and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed,...and......finds four Chinese men....under the bed..............fuck......fuck free
NGURAT AWEK
dah lama aku rasa tak tulis cerita tak senonoh menangis tak de gigi nie.....nie aku rasa nak cerita pasal ngorat awek.....
alkisah bermula di satu office besar di negeri pasir bedenggung.... office nie sebuah firm arkitek yg mempunyai 401-3000+9484/3.87X18308+153839-738364X0+2000 = 2000 org pekerja...kerja kat office nie kira banyak gila kalah GDP....banyak buat design istana pasir kat pantai....banyak lee org yg nak join company nie....
Tapi dalam cerita nie topik utama ialah JOHN KENOK....seorang lelaki yg berusia 40 tahun (masa peristiwa nie berlaku) yang masih dara dan suci lagi...dari lahir sampai dah tua nak mati pun tak pernah bercinta dan jahil dalam hal2 hati seorang perempuan....
si Kenok nie ada menyimpan perasaan kat satu awek programmer lawa & seksi gila kat office nie dan merupakan "bahan" khayalan dia....tapi awek nie tak perasan pun akan kewujudan John Kenok kat office nie......setiap kali Kenok selisih ngan awek nie dia rasa jantung berdegup lidah terkelu... dah buat toyol tulis kat baju pun tak terkeluar kata2 ayat-ayat cinta....yang dia boleh buat hanya memandang dari jauh..seperti melukut ditepi gantang....
setelah lama memendam perasaan Kenok mendapat idea bila menonton film lucah malam tadi..... dia pun merosakkan program computernya...dan membuat aduan kat awek programme nie....dengan niat untuk mendekatinya....awek nie pun datang untuk membaiki computer Kenok...
***untuk pengetahuan pembaca semua computer di office ini diletakkan password dan hanya programme dan yang org menggunakannya sahaja tahu password tersebut...untuk mengelakkan kebocoran maklumat.....
Setelah meneliti hardware computer didapati tiada kerosakan dan program window XEPInya telah di setting kembali .....awek tersebut meminta password yang kenok hendak di set kan didalam computernya....
berdegup jantung kenok melihat awek tersebut memandangnya dan berdasarkan ilhamnya yg diperolehi hasil kajian menonton film lucah semalam dengan niat untuk menunjukkan kegagahan kelakiannya Kenok dengan megah menyatakan........PENIS.....apabila mendengar password yg dinyatakan oleh Kenok ,awek tersebut memakukan pandangan nye seketika ke muka kenok...berbunga hati kenok kerana dapat menarik perhatian awek tersebut....dalam hatinya " peh power ayat aku nie"...
kemudian awek tersebut mula menaip untuk memasukkan passwork kenok....tiba-tiba awek tersebut memaling dan memandang kenok dengan pandangan penuh rasa kasihan sambil ketawa tengingai-ngigai....kenok berasa hairan dan meninjau ke screen computernya..
Di screen computernya terpampang...."PENIS CANNOT ACCEPTED BECAUSE TO SHOT"...kalau dalam bahasa melayu "KONEK TIDAK DAPAT DIMASUKKAN KERANA TERLALU PENDEK".....hehehehe....maka kecil leh kemaluan kenok jadinya....sampai sekarang umurnya 80 tahun tak kawin lagi...dia takut tak leh memasukkan penisnya...tiada keyakinan diri lagi......
****moral dalam cerita nie kalau nak ngorat awek jgn lee tunjukkan kemaluan anda......saiz paku 1/3 inci macam kepala anak kura2 umur setengah hari......hehehe
alkisah bermula di satu office besar di negeri pasir bedenggung.... office nie sebuah firm arkitek yg mempunyai 401-3000+9484/3.87X18308+1
Tapi dalam cerita nie topik utama ialah JOHN KENOK....seorang lelaki yg berusia 40 tahun (masa peristiwa nie berlaku) yang masih dara dan suci lagi...dari lahir sampai dah tua nak mati pun tak pernah bercinta dan jahil dalam hal2 hati seorang perempuan....
si Kenok nie ada menyimpan perasaan kat satu awek programmer lawa & seksi gila kat office nie dan merupakan "bahan" khayalan dia....tapi awek nie tak perasan pun akan kewujudan John Kenok kat office nie......setiap kali Kenok selisih ngan awek nie dia rasa jantung berdegup lidah terkelu... dah buat toyol tulis kat baju pun tak terkeluar kata2 ayat-ayat cinta....yang dia boleh buat hanya memandang dari jauh..seperti melukut ditepi gantang....
setelah lama memendam perasaan Kenok mendapat idea bila menonton film lucah malam tadi..... dia pun merosakkan program computernya...dan membuat aduan kat awek programme nie....dengan niat untuk mendekatinya....awek nie pun datang untuk membaiki computer Kenok...
***untuk pengetahuan pembaca semua computer di office ini diletakkan password dan hanya programme dan yang org menggunakannya sahaja tahu password tersebut...untuk mengelakkan kebocoran maklumat.....
Setelah meneliti hardware computer didapati tiada kerosakan dan program window XEPInya telah di setting kembali .....awek tersebut meminta password yang kenok hendak di set kan didalam computernya....
berdegup jantung kenok melihat awek tersebut memandangnya dan berdasarkan ilhamnya yg diperolehi hasil kajian menonton film lucah semalam dengan niat untuk menunjukkan kegagahan kelakiannya Kenok dengan megah menyatakan........PENIS...
kemudian awek tersebut mula menaip untuk memasukkan passwork kenok....tiba-tiba awek tersebut memaling dan memandang kenok dengan pandangan penuh rasa kasihan sambil ketawa tengingai-ngigai....kenok berasa hairan dan meninjau ke screen computernya..
Di screen computernya terpampang...."PENIS CANNOT ACCEPTED BECAUSE TO SHOT"...kalau dalam bahasa melayu "KONEK TIDAK DAPAT DIMASUKKAN KERANA TERLALU PENDEK".....hehehehe....ma
****moral dalam cerita nie kalau nak ngorat awek jgn lee tunjukkan kemaluan anda......saiz paku 1/3 inci macam kepala anak kura2 umur setengah hari......hehehe
Monday, December 1, 2008
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